When there's nothing left of me, you are there to set me free. - Mathilda

I'm not good with words, so I'll do my best with this for you guys. I'll also be writing this in english, as you may see, to get my message through as properly and as fairly as possible. Swedish is my home language, but I always seem to make more sense while speaking english. Hmmm.....

Anyway, let's cut to the chase.

About three years ago, a very good friend of mine and I had made up plans for a night in, since we never made time for each other very often. We were going to watch a movie at her father's place and have a glass of wine because (of course) he wasn't there. However, my friend's  were throwing a birthday party for one of my other friends and I really wanted to go. She told me to go there, instead of having a night in with her. And she could spend some time with her boyfriend instead. Whom she hadn't seen for a week.

This was the last time I saw her. Turning around to say "I love you crazy! let's meet up another day instead". And I answered back, "I love you too whacko, and yes, let's do that."

As you now already, without me telling you properly, figured out. This was the night she died. In a car accident. Because I went to a party. Instead of spending the evening with her.

I blame myself, even though I know it's not the right thing to do. And it is not fair to everyone around me to do so. But I do. And I hate myself for going there instead. Because if I had only valued her time better, she would still be alive. And I would not have such troubles with letting people in to my life.

I'm scared that if I do so, they will get very sick, or end up in a car accident, and die. It's not fair to anyone that I, instead of being a true friend, walk around being scared of losing them forever. 

Yesterday was her birthday, and all I could think of for the whole day, was her saying "I love you crazy!" 

Now, the real reason for me telling you this is; 

that if I would not have had God by my side, I would have probably committed some sort of psychological suicide. My heart was in a thousand pieces, and it's not just something that I say to make it sound poetical or to have your attention. Cause I promise, If I really would be searching for your attention, you'd know it, and you'd feel it like you feel a slap on your face.

God is a rock. He is the foundation of a house. HE IS AMAZING. And you who choose not to see it, you should probably take another look around to see all the wonders of this earth of which we stand. Honestly, do you think this is a coincident? 

That YOU are standing here, with your abilities?

The gifts he has put down in you, maybe you're a great singer, or a fantastic speaker. What are you supposed to do, to make a meaning with these abilities?

I just wanna end this with saying, take a prayer. When life comes at you. Take a prayer. When everything feels like pure shit. Take prayer. When everyone is failing at you. Take a prayer. When you cannot cope with life. Take a prayer. Because GOD os with you, and if god is with you, then WHAT COULD STAND AGAINST?